


I Had Naught But My Own Hands, And Your Heart; It Was Enough.

by littlesaintmick



Series: Things To Think About Before Putting Bread In The Oven [3]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Laurel Lance - Freeform, Oral Sex, Other, Rimming, WARNING-discussions of rape, lisa snart - Freeform, nonbinary mick rory, seriously guys this has a happy ending but it is NOT lighthearted, they both make minor appearances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 05:10:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11616573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlesaintmick/pseuds/littlesaintmick
Summary: mick and len go through a very rough period.





	I Had Naught But My Own Hands, And Your Heart; It Was Enough.

**Author's Note:**

> okay i cannot put enough warnings on this but:
> 
> this chapter covers my permanent headcanon that mick, in the past decade, was the victim of a horrific sexual assault at the hands of a woman. this part of the series discusses rape rather in-depth, and mentions past instances of csa and rape that both mick and len have been through. 
> 
> this takes place in/around 2010, and takes place over a few months, showing glimpses into mick's recovery. fair warning: len often speaks of things very bluntly, as this helps mick. it may not be easy for some to read.
> 
> i can only hope that i've covered the topic well, and gently. please be cautious when reading.
> 
> note: mick, as far as i'm concerned, is nonbinary, and switches between he/him (identifying as male), they/them (neutral identity), and she/her (female identity). for a good portion of this, mick is identifying as a woman.

Len wiped at the tears streaming down his face. 

“Mick-I can’t do this. I can’t-this is-what you did-”

“What _I_  did? What about what  _you_  did, Len?”

Len froze, cold stare directed right at Mick.

“Don’t raise your voice at me.”

Mick almost snarled, before closing his eyes and sighing. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled.”

Len sat down on the closest flat surface, resting his head in his hands. 

“God, Mick, what-we can’t keep doing this.”

Mick frowned, tears falling heavily from his own eyes. He quietly walked over and sat next to Len. 

“What...Len, are you saying you wanna-”

“Not for good. I-I  _want_  to work past this, Mick, I-God, I  _need_  to, I need  _us_  to, but...maybe..a break would be good.”

Mick brought a hand up to cover his mouth, ignoring the pain flaring in most of his body. The burns were still fresh, but he’d ignored them. That was part of why Len was so upset. 

But only part.

Mick took a deep breath and rubbed his palms over his face.

“I-how? What about the kids?”

“We’ll both still be there for the kids, Mick, I’d never ask you to stop seeing them and I’d never leave them. I just-do you want to stay at the farm, or should I?”

“I-I think you should. You need it. Opal and Enku are still breastfeeding for Christ’s sake, they need you more than they need me right now.”

Len shot Mick a look.

“Don’t do that.”

“I’m-I know how that sounded, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

Len closed his eyes. 

“I’m sorry. I know. I’m just-I’m mad, and I’m not being very-I’m not being fair.”

“No, you’re not, but I’m-I’m really not in the right here, either. God. Maybe-maybe we do need a break? I don’t want one, but if I have to go for a while, then...I guess it’s the right thing to do.”

“I don’t want one, either, but wants and needs are different. I-fuck. This is shit.”

Mick’s shoulders dropped, defeated. 

“Yeah.”

\---

_one month later_

Len opened the door, smiling softly at Mick.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“BUBBA!”

Mick’s eyes widened and a huge smile came to his face at the chorus of voices. 

“Hey, kids!”

Brighid, Tahmid, Basima, and Adi all ran up to Mick, swarming him in a massive group hug. Lapis walked up, standing next to Len, waiting her turn. Mick made sure to hug each child individually, for a long time, before walking up to Lapis and pulling her into a hug tight enough to lift her off the ground. She hugged him back.

“Hello, Bubba.”

“Hey, Laz. How’s the coolest girl in the world been?”

“I’ve been fine.”

“Awesome.”

Mick pulled away and looked at Len. 

“Are Enku and Opal upstairs?”

“Yes.” 

Mick was quiet for a moment, eyes flicking to the staircase.

“Can-”

“Mick, they’re your children. You don’t have to ask to see them.”

Mick frowned. 

“I know, but-I know.”

Mick headed up the stairs, the kids all looking up after him sadly, before looking at Len. He sighed. 

“Kids, I need you all to go to your rooms for a bit, please?”

“Are you and Bubba going to therapy?”

“Yes.”

Adi tugged at Len’s hand. Len leaned down to pick him up, lifting the four year old into his arms. Adi pointed up towards the stairs, then around the entrance and pointing specifically at Len.

“I don’t know when he’ll come back for good, sweetheart. I’m sorry.”

Adi frowned and gestured to be let down. Len gently set him down before going upstairs, both flights up to the third story. He walked into their bedroom-whether or not Mick was there, it was  _their_  room, no matter what-and saw Mick, looking into both cribs, nothing but pure love, tinged with sadness in his eyes.

“They’ve been eating well. And sleeping.”

“Opal finally stopped fightin’ her feedings?”

“Yup. Thankfully.”

Mick laughed quietly before turning to face Len.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

They’d seen each other fairly regularly; though they were taking a break, they had nine children together and were not willing to rob any of them of having both parents around. Neither of them could survive without seeing their kids. 

Or each other.

Mick sat down on the edge of the bed, Len taking a seat next to him.

“Are you ready for the appointment tonight?”

“Yeah. Did all the homework and everything. Thanks for calling and reminding me, I would’ve forgot.”

They both laughed a little. Len was well-aware of Mick’s memory issues; it was second nature to send quick calls or texts to remind him of things now.

“I think the therapy is helping.”

“Me, too.”

Len turned and smiled at Mick. He desperately wanted to touch Mick, his husband, to hold him and kiss him and make love to him. He wanted them to be past this, to be together again. But he knew he couldn’t force it. Neither of them could.

“How’s the pain?”

“Not too bad, I guess. I mean, it hurts like a son of a bitch, but they’re healing, and I’m doing good in pt.”

Len felt a flood of relief. 

“Can....may I see them?”

Mick swallowed audibly, but nodded. He let Len pull off his shirt, unbuttoning it and sliding the cloth down. Len didn’t gasp or make any shocked noise. He simply examined the burns. He knew how much they covered and he knew how extreme most of them were, so he was happy to hear that Mick was taking care of himself, and proud that Mick was not taking any heavy painkillers.

They’d both recognized the beginning of addiction problems after having Michael, and had sworn to stay away from anything habit-forming. They’d kept the promise.

“They are looking more healed.”

“Len?”

Len made eye contact with Mick, aware of how close they were.

“After therapy, do you wanna get dinner?”

Len smiled. 

“I want nothing more than to get dinner with you tonight, Mick.”

\---

_two months later_

_“Call back, I’m not answering right now. Leave a number.”  
_

Len threw his phone on the ground and let out a frustrated cry.

“Lenny?”

Len looked up at his sister. Lisa looked frightened, and Len felt a pang of guilt.

“He-he’s still not answering, Lise, what-he never doesn’t answer when I call him, he’ll just send a text if he can’t call, I don’t-it’s been a month, I don’t-”

Lisa walked up closer to him, pulling him into a hug. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing serious.”

“I know, but-something  _feels_  wrong, Lise.”

Lisa pulled back to look at him.

“Maybe you should go out and look for him? You know where he was staying last, right? I can stay and keep an eye on things around here.”

Len nodded, wiping the tears off his face. Mick had  _never_  just disappeared like this. Ever. They’d talked about it before, what they’d do if they had to break up, but they always agreed to never just run off. And they’d been doing better; two and a half months of weekly couple’s therapy had done them good. Mick had even kissed him on the cheek the last time they saw each other, gently and sweetly. 

Len tried not to let the anxiety and panic get the best of him as he drove out to Central. He hadn’t been this scared since he was seven and his father tried to kill him. Mick...Len didn’t know what he’d do if Mick was-

Len shook his head, trying to clear those thoughts away. He gritted his teeth and clenched his jaw the whole drive out to one of their rental properties. They’d been renting it out to three young college students, and they’d been letting Mick stay with them. Having two college-age children themselves, Mick and Len were accustomed to the stress and needs they might have. They’d all been overjoyed at having Mick stay over. He helped tutor them, he cooked for them, and he apparently made a very fair chore chart. 

Len felt a smile tug at his lips. His husband was so good with people. Len envied that of him, but only when they were apart, which...never happened. Their constant presence had been part of what made them need a break, but it was only a small part, and they still craved to be near each other. They needed to be; they balanced each other out. What one lacked, the other had. What one wanted, the other could give.

Len knew there would be no one else for him if Mick-

Len pulled into the driveway, putting the car in park before knocking on the door. Mick’s truck was nowhere to be seen.

Alicia, one of the tenants, opened the door. She looked worried. 

“Oh, Len, thank God-have you seen Mick?”

Len felt his heart drop lower than the ground. It must have shown on his face; Alicia frowned.

“He’s....not with you?”

“No, I’m-he was staying here, right?”

“Yeah, he-he just-one night, a few weeks ago, he said he was gonna go out, there was this reading by an author he likes at the campus, and he-he didn’t come home. We thought he’d gone back to you, I’m-oh my God, Len, I’m sorry-”

“No, it’s not your fault. Whatever....whatever happened, don’t blame yourselves, alright?”

Alicia nodded, tears springing to her bright green eyes. Len felt the sting of tears at his own, but opened his arms. Alicia stepped forward, hugging him tight. He rested his chin on top of her head, one hand petting over curly hair. 

“I can’t say it will be alright, but I’m going to find him.”

Alicia nodded and squeezed him before pulling back. 

“I, uh-I’ll call around, see if anyone at school or any of his spots has seen him, and-I’ll call you if I hear anything.”

“Thank you. Please be safe, Alicia.”

Len turned and got back in the car. He managed to drive a few blocks away, to an empty parking lot before having to pull over. He stopped the car just as the first sob tore its way from his throat. 

He hadn’t cried this hard...ever. He was always a quiet child and had turned into a quiet adult. But the thought of losing Mick, of Mick being  _gone_ , and so suddenly-the sobs wracked at his body, making him cough and gag. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t live without Mick. He’d stay alive, yes, for his children and his sister, but he’d never be alive again. What’s a life without the person you’ve built it with?

\---

Len spent the next week calling every hospital, police station, and prison he could find not only in their state, but in the surrounding ones. It had been two months since he’d seen Mick, and he was slowly losing the will to-well, to do anything. 

The house had been lifeless. The kids were torn, and Len had spent most nights comforting more than one of his children, assuring them that he’d find Mick. Lapis hadn’t spoken to anyone in three weeks. Opal and Enku, their youngest, had been unhappy, crying more often than they ever did when Mick was home. 

He’d called and told Michael and Rada, their oldest, and they’d both taken time off of school to search. They’d been going almost nonstop, driving around the state, trying to find their father. Michael had gone into a rage at the news. Len had never seen any of his children so angry.

As with most things Michael did, it reminded him of Mick.

Len sat, pouring over maps and notes. He’d been calling everyone that they knew, and still, nothing. He sat up at the sound of a quiet knock on the door.

Len frowned. He couldn’t think of anyone that it could be, but he stood. Maybe they came with news of Mick. 

Len opened the door, and felt his heart stop.

“Len?”

His voice was too quiet. Len responded in a whisper, heavy and low.

“Mick?”

Mick stood in front of him, a few steps back from the door. He looked-something had happened. Len knew it. Mick was drawn in to himself, small and afraid, arms crossed over his chest and abdomen like he needed to protect himself. Len could see where he’d picked at the still-healing burns, little spots bleeding and scabbing. His eyes were unfocused and hazy, the blue-green surrounded by bloodshot red. 

“Mick, what-where-what happened to you?”

Mick shook his head, just barely.

“I don’t-am I-are-is this real?”

Len nodded.

“It’s real, Mick. I’m real. Do-Mick, can you tell me your name?”

“Mick-Michael....something....Rory?”

Len felt ice-cold fear slither its way through his body.

“Mick, do you know what day it is?”

“Uh-I-no, I don’t-don’t remember-I don’t know-”

Len reached out, pulling back as Mick flinched away hard enough to step back a few paces.

“Mick, please come inside.”

Mick nodded. His voice had been so quiet, and soft. But it wasn’t with the sort of softness he’d use in bed, or the kind he’d use when he talked to his children, it was...like there was nothing there. Nothing behind it to project it.

Mick followed Len, sitting down on the couch. 

“Mick, I’m gonna grab you some water. Is that alright?”

Nothing but a short, barely-there nod. 

Len walked into the kitchen, bringing his hand up and squeezing it tight over his mouth to prevent the noise from escaping. Mick was here. Mick was alive.

But something was terribly, terribly wrong.

Len filled up a glass with water, drinking half of it himself, before filling it again and walking back out to the living room. Mick hadn’t moved an inch. Len sat next to him, holding out the water for him. Mick held it for a moment before the glass slipped out of his hands. Len caught it, having halfway expected that to happen. 

“Mick?”

Silence.

“Please say something, Mick, I’m-I’m scared, what’s happened?”

“She-”

Mick’s voice was still too quiet, but there was a waver to it now.

“Mick?”

“I-I was..going home one night. I don’t remember when. And this lady came up to me and started talking, and she was from the hospital, and she said she could...help me, with my burns. And the pain. I didn’t need it, but I didn’t wanna be rude. We got coffee and-I just remember waking up. Kinda. I was in someone’s-her house, I guess. I kept falling asleep. I wasn’t hurting, but every-every time I ate or drank something, she-something was in it so I kept fallin’ asleep. An’ I’d wake up-feelin’...dirty. Like there was stuff all over me. But then I stopped falling asleep, cause-you know how I am with stuff, it doesn’t affect me for that long-and I was just stuck there an’ weak an’ I couldn’t move or stop her-she was doing it every night, I-I-I got away a-a few days ago, an’ I just started walkin’, I didn’t know where I’s going, I just-she did it every night and I didn’t-I didn’t want it, I swear, I didn’t want it, I didn’t-”

Len felt sick. He never imagined something like this.

“I’m sorry, I know I’s too weak, I-I shoulda-I’m sorry, Len-”

Mick’s words turned to broken sobs then, leaning forward on his hands. Len very, very carefully laid a hand on Mick’s back, moving it up to the back of his neck. Mick turned quickly towards Len and pressed himself against him. They wrapped their arms around each other tightly, Mick’s face pressed against Len’s chest. Len held him while he cried, kissing his head. He didn’t speak, not for a while.

“Mick? You’re not weak, baby. You’re not. And there’s nothing you could have done. What happened is entirely-it’s  _her_  fault, not yours, and it never will be yours. You-you’re a victim, Mick, just like I was when I was a kid. I understand how you feel, and I’m so, so sorry.”

Len didn’t bring up the other times Mick had been assaulted. In juvie, in a foster home, by a teacher. Mick had forgotten about those, happy memories overwhelming the bad ones, and Len was happy to keep it that way. Len himself remembered every instance from his younger years of someone touching him and hurting him. It stayed with him. 

Len knew this would stay with Mick.

\---

“Hello?”

“Lisa, I need you to take the kids tonight. You and Michael And Rada, they need to stay with you guys tonight. And...and maybe for a few days longer.”

“What happened-”

“He came home.”

\---

Len woke up before he realized that he was waking up. The violent thrashing on the other side of the bed didn’t startle him, however. Len sat up, gently running his hand over Mick’s forehead. 

“Mick, Mick, wake up. Wake up, Mick, it’s safe here.”

Mick’s eyes opened, but not without a struggle. He blinked rapidly, looking around the room before focusing on Len. 

“L-Len?”

“It’s okay, Mick. She’s not here. It’s just you and me, no one’s here to hurt you. Look, look around the room. You’re home, Mick, with me. There’s no one else here, I promise.”

Mick began sobbing, Len pulling him close. He pressed Mick’s face to his chest.

“It’s okay, Mick, go ahead.”

Mick’s sobs increased in volume until he was screaming, the sound muffled against Len’s chest. Len just held him, cheek resting on the bare skin of Mick’s scalp. He couldn’t soothe him or help him. He could only hold him. 

It had been two days since Mick had come home. He’d been mostly silent, speaking a lot in small bursts before going quiet again. Len had taken him to the doctor-with a lot of struggle, but it had been necessary-the day after Mick had come home. He was fine, they were still waiting on lab results. Mick had had a horrible episode at the office. He’d cried, saying that he didn’t know if the woman had put condoms on him or not. 

He’d looked up at Len, wide-eyed, scared, and asked what would happen if he’d gotten her pregnant. Len had calmed Mick down, saying that they’d take care of it if that happened.

Mick’s screaming ceased slowly, hoarse sobs dragging out of his throat. Len kissed his scalp. 

“Len?”

“Yes?”

“I’m-I’m sorry-”

“Mick, there’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“There...there is, though, Len-I cheated on you-”

Len pulled back enough to look at Mick, his husband’s normally lively eyes dull and wet.

“No, you didn’t. Mick, that-tell me what happened to you.”

“I-I was-I was raped.”

“That’s not cheating. I will never, ever blame you for what happened. This is not your fault. This does not make you bad. You were raped by a horrible, horrible person.”

Mick averted his gaze, and sniffled. 

“Thank you, Lenny.”

His voice was quiet, and small.

“I love you, Mick. Nothing will ever change that.”

“I love you too, Len.”

\---

_one month later_

Len flipped through a magazine, trying not to bounce his leg. Mick’s therapist’s office was actually lovely, but he’d been anxious about the appointments ever since he started going again. It had been a month since Mick came home. 

And there was a lot to unpack.

Mick had slowly been reintroduced to the children. They all understood he needed a specific sort of environment right now, and they’d all been excellent about accommodating their father. 

Mick had screamed when he saw Lisa and curled into a ball on the floor, crying. He later explained that his attacker had looked like her to some extent and he hadn’t realized it was Lisa at first. She was upset-she’d run out of the house crying-but hadn’t taken offense. All Lisa wanted was for Mick to recover. 

She’d showed up at the house the next week, hair shaved completely and color contacts in. 

Lisa and Mick hugged, then. He knew what her hair meant to her, but it reminded him that he meant a lot more.

They had been on a good track, before Mick disappeared. They still were. But Len had stopped focusing on the problems they’d been having, and started focusing on helping Mick heal. It was all he could think to do. Hell, Len couldn’t even remember most of the reasons they’d been fighting. 

He just wanted Mick to be okay.

He looked up at the sound of the door opening, standing as Mick walked out, followed by his therapist. 

“Leonard, could I speak to you for a moment?”

Len gently ran his hands up and down Mick’s arms, looking him in the eye. Mick seemed relaxed.

“I’ll be right out, Mick.”

Len turned towards Dr. LeBlanc, following her into her office.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing. That’s not why I called you in here. I was going to ask how you two were doing?”

Len sighed, relieved. 

“We’re....better. I think-I think this made us realize we didn’t want to be apart anymore.”

LeBlanc frowned. 

“Will you two resume therapy once he feels he’s ready?”

Len frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“If he feels like we need to. I’ll talk to him about it once he feels he’s healed. He...he told me about the withdrawal.”

LeBlanc exhaled heavily through her nose. 

“It seems to mostly be over.”

Mick had had a violent period of withdrawal from...whatever that woman put in his body. He’d been ill every day, constantly shaking and sweating. It had mostly worn off, other than the shaking.

Len had had to sit behind Mick, his husband’s back against his chest, as he helped him strike a flame on his lighter. 

“I think he’s doing well. Recovery time from a trauma like this differs for everyone, but I think he’s working through it, faster than I see most people do.”

Len smiled, a bit sad.

“That’s my Mick.”

\---

Len blinked his eyes open, stretching his arms up over his head. He stared at the ceiling, listening to a soft voice coming from the corner of the room. Len leaned up on his elbows, eyes opening wider.

Mick was sitting in one of the rocking chairs, quietly talking to Opal as she drank from a bottle. Enku must still be asleep in her crib. Len sat up more, taking in the sight Mick made; a black skirt that draped over thick, smooth legs, a white blouse, simple makeup. The scent of a subtle, fruity perfume was in the air. 

“Good morning.”

Mick looked up at Len. 

“Good morning.”

Len stood, stretching his whole body, not bothering to put on a shirt. He stood next to Mick, resting his hands on her shoulders. He leaned down and kissed her scalp.

“How are you feeling, love?”

“‘m alright. Opal was hungry, so I went ahead.”

Len pressed a little closer to her.

“You look beautiful, Mick.”

Mick turned her head up to look at Len.

“Is...is it okay if I’m-if I don’t identify as a guy, for a while? I think-that might help, you know? Get me to stop thinking about it.”

“Of course, Mick. You can always identify however you need.”

Mick and Len looked at each other for a long moment, before Len gently gripped her chin. 

“Mick, may I kiss you?”

Mick exhaled, a ‘yes’ spoken light as a breath, and Len leaned down to press his lips to hers. It was a soft kiss, but a good one. Len pulled away, kneeling down and running his hand over Opal’s head. 

“Hey, little gem, I hope you’re eating well for Mom.”

Len kissed his daughter on the forehead before going to their closet. He walked in and grabbed a tank top out of a dresser, pulling it on. It wasn’t exactly modest, but he had no plans to go anywhere that day. He tugged on a pair of boxers and old, worn jeans, and finally, clean socks.

Len walked back out to see Mick standing. 

“I’m gonna head down. Can you grab Enku? It’s about time for her to wake up.”

Len smiled, walking up to Mick and kissing her. 

“I’ll be down in a minute.”

Len gently picked his second-youngest child up out of her crib, shushing her while she fussed. He walked down the stairs to the first floor, setting Enku down in her high chair. Mick already had Opal in hers, and was sitting at the table, eating breakfast. Len sat next to her, reaching over to hold her hand. Mick looked up and smiled at him.

It was very warm, and very calm in the house.

\---

Len fell onto the bed with Mick, laying on top of her, his hips snug against hers.

“Mm-Mick, wait-”

“Len-please, come on-”

Len pulled away, leaning up on his elbows. 

“I just-are you sure you’re ready to...do sexual stuff?”

Mick swallowed, breathing heavily. 

“Yeah, I....it’s been...I’m doing better, Len. I just-I don’t think I wanna top, anytime soon, is all.”

Len nodded.

“I’m perfectly okay with that, Mick. What do you want to do?”

Mick insistently pushed her hips up, grinding against his stomach.

“I mostly wanna come, Len. I-can you use your mouth on me?”

Len grinned, leaning back down to kiss her deeply. He slowly moved down, kissing his way down her body. He kneeled up once he was situated between her legs. 

“Pull your skirt up for me, baby.”

Mick bit her lip, slowly inching the skirt up her thighs, revealing the blue satin underneath that barely covered her hard, engorged cock and heavy sac. Len grinned, tilting his head. 

“Look at you, Mick. So beautiful. Prettiest damn girl in the world.”

Mick blushed, turning her gaze away and smiling. 

“Charmer.”

“Gorgeous.”

Len’s voice had taken on a deeper pitch, arousal coloring his tone. He ran his hands up the front of Mick’s legs, smooth skin and scarred skin under his palms, creating a unique sensation. He gripped the waistband of her panties and dragged them down, slowly, letting her feel it.

“Oh-Len-”

Len held the panties in his hand for a moment, admiring the blue fabric, before tossing them to the side. Len leaned down, kissing her thighs, up to her cock. He licked at her sac, sucking on one at a time, the heady smell of her arousal fogging his mind. He pulled off, nuzzling at the base of her cock and the trimmed hairs surrounding it. Len looked up at her, his gorgeous wife, taking in her red face and kiss-swollen lips, her half-shut eyes watching his every move. 

“More, Len-”

Len moved his head up, gripping the base of her cock with one hand, sucking the bulbous head of her cock into his mouth. He kept his lips tight around the glans, flicking his tongue over the tip, dipping it into the slit.

“Oh! Len! Oh my-fuck, fuck, Lenny-”

Len moved his other hand up to wrap it around her cock, pumping the hot, pulsing length. Mick whimpered above him, one leg coming up to rest around his back. 

“Oh-fuck, Len-please, I want-I want you to eat me out, please-if-if you keep going, I’m gonna come, oh  _fuck_ -”

Len pulled off, his lips making a loud ‘pop’ noise. 

“Grab a pillow, baby.”

Mick handed him a pillow, and Len tapped her hip until she lifted them for him to place it under her. He wasted no time in burying his face against her ass, licking at her tight hole in broad strokes. 

“Ah! Len! Fuck-please, I want-I want-”

Len pulled back to look up at her. 

“Tell me, doll, what do you want me to do for you?”

Mick laid back on the bed, arm thrown over her face. 

“I want...Len, I want your tongue in my cunt.”

Len smiled and stroked at the sensitive, unscarred skin on her thigh. 

“Gladly, love.”

Len pressed his face against her again, hands keeping her spread. He licked into her cunt, working the pointed, stiff tip of his tongue past the tiny, tight ring of muscle. Len’s eyes rolled back in his head at the taste of her, the scent, the feeling. He loved eating his wife out. 

Mick groaned, rocking her hips up against his mouth. 

“Len-Len-I’m-oh my God,  _Len_ , fuck, fuck fuck-”

She reached down and pushed his head closer, keeping him in place while she fucked herself down onto his tongue. Len moved one hand up to her cock, feeling the skin hot and slick with precome; Len rubbed right at the tip while he thrusted his tongue in and out of her hole. It was enough to push her to orgasm, come shooting in thick spurts onto her chest and Len’s hand. Len sat up, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. He looked up at Mick’s face and frowned. 

She was covering her face with both hands, quietly sniffling.

“Mick?”

“I’m okay.”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s-”

“Mick, please don’t say ‘it’s nothing’. Please. I need to know the truth.”

Mick’s shoulders hitched. 

“I-I feel like I should feel bad.”

Len felt a warmth bloom in his chest.

“Oh, Mick.”

“I just-with what happened, I shouldn’t want this anymore, I shouldn’t-but I do, I wanna go back to doing things how we did, and I know I can, I just-I hate this, I hate feeling like this-”

“I know, Mick.”

Len laid next to her, leaning up on one elbow.

“I know it’s hard, Mick. When we-when we first started having sex, I felt like...it was something I shouldn’t be doing with you, because I’d done it-whether I wanted to or not-with so many people before, it-I thought I wasn’t worthy of it. Being with someone I loved. I thought that because so many people had had their hands on me, that you deserved someone better. I felt so goddamn guilty about it for so long, but...Mick, a lot of what happened to me, what’s happened to you-that’s not something to feel guilty about. I know you will. Part of me still does. It’s so hard to kill that feeling.”

“I’m not expecting you to bounce back immediately, either, Mick. You went through the fire, our breakup, and then  _that_ , all within five months. That’s a lot. If you need time to heal, then you need time. That’s alright. Even if it takes the rest of your life, Mick, it’s fine. You know that  _I_  am always here for you, your  _family_  is always here for you. Whatever you need, we’re here to help you. You pick how you need that help, though. I love you, I love you more than anything and anyone in the whole world, and I want you to do what’s good for you.”

Mick peeked over her hands.

“You....you ain’t gonna leave, or nothing like that?”

“God, no, Mick. I’ve left once, and that was too much.”

Mick sniffed and turned to lay on her side, facing Len. 

“What if people don’t believe me? Cause I’m-you know. Mostly a guy, a lot of the time.”

“Anyone who tries to invalidate your experience as a rape victim because you’re male is a bastard, and they’re spewing bullshit. You went through something atrocious, and no one gets to talk shit about your experience.”

Mick stared down at the bedspread, picking at the sheets.

“You don’t.....you don’t think I’m...you don’t think I...deserved it, right?”

“Oh, God, Mick-”

Len cupped her face in one hand, making her look at him.

“Baby, Mick, there is absolutely nothing that you did that made you deserve this. Nothing. You were attacked and hurt, and it is not something you invited or deserved. I don’t care if anyone tries to pull that shit, they are goddamn wrong.”

Mick blinked, tears just at the lids of her eyes. 

“You still wanna be with me?”

Len smiled, tears spilling from his own eyes. 

“For the rest of my life, Mick.”

\---

_one month later_

Mick and Len laid in bed, Len’s head pillowed on Mick’s chest. He was gently tracing nonsense patterns across the skin there.

“Mick?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s something I want to do, but I have to make sure you’re okay with it, first.”

Mick was silent for a moment.

“Alright. Shoot. What’s up?”

“I-”

Len took a deep breath.

“I’d like to kill her.”

Mick tensed under him. Len kept his body carefully relaxed.

“You mean...”

“Yes. I don’t want you involved, but I want to kill her.”

Mick went quiet for a few minutes.

“Okay.”

\---

Later that week, Len came home, clothes soaked in blood. He simply washed quickly, disposed of the clothes, before coming downstairs to sit in the living room with his family. He sat next to Mick, snuggling up against his husband’s side, pressing close when he felt Mick squeeze him. 

\---

_seven years later_

Mick hugged Laurel tight, holding his arms open to Nyssa. She smiled and accepted the hug. Len watched the exchange from the picnic table, lounging with his feet on top. His dress had shifted down his legs a little, but no one minded. The kids were all out of the house for the night, and Mick and Len were having some of their friends from the superhero/villain world over. 

Laurel sat next to Len while Mick introduced Nyssa to Amaya, excitedly saying something about ninjas. 

“Hey, Cold.”

“Hey there, Canary. Plan on singing tonight?”

Laurel laughed, a musical, pretty sound. 

“Trust me, no one wants to hear that.”

Len laughed and went back to watching Mick with his friends. They were now all talking to Diana, evidently in awe. That  _was_  most people’s reaction to Diana, Len couldn’t blame them.

“I’m really happy for him.”

“Hm?”

“Mick. Just....I remember, this time a few years ago, he couldn’t even be near women. Now, look at him. He’s back with his friends, he’s made new ones. I’m happy for him.”

Len smiled at Laurel. She had been a big help, during the recovery process. She hadn’t been allowed around Mick, but she’d given Len plenty of tips and resources on how to recover from withdrawal and sexual assault trauma. She and Mick had known each other for years, since she was a teenager. They’d helped each other many times, and she’d been devastated to hear about what she’d been through.

Laurel was the first friend who came and saw Mick once he was ready. 

Len had always been grateful for their friendship. He was grateful for all of the friends Mick had. Len looked around at the group gathered in the backyard of the farm. 

“You know what? I’m happy, too.”

He was, yes. More importantly, Mick was. 

Even more importantly: they were happy  _together_.


End file.
